This past month, several clients and I, committed to reading a book called: “The Gap and the Gain: The High Achievers Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success.” by Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy.
The book argues that many ambitious people, despite making significant progress in their lives, remain unhappy because they measure success incorrectly.
And since the focus of many architects this past month is on setting the year's goals, the timing of this book was all the more pertinent.
The key lies in shifting focus from the "Gap" – measuring progress against ideals – to the "Gain" – measuring progress backwards against one's former self.
I'll explain using the image below (where I have added the green arrows)
The START button is where you were 90 days ago.
The ACHIEVED button is what you have achieved since then.
The IDEAL button is where you wish you were.
Looking at the green arrows: You are in the GAP if you measure between what you have ACHIEVED and the IDEAL. The gap is where we are never happy. It's a pessimistic place where you have never done enough, are good enough, are achieving enough, not least because IDEAL is constantly shifting. Being in the Gap is a hard habit we fall into daily and hard to break. The more time you spend in the Gap, the shorter your life span will be!
You are in the GAIN if you measure between the START - where you were 90 days ago - and ACHIEVED. The GAIN focuses on scaffolding your learning - measuring yourself against how you were yesterday or 90 days ago. Living in the gain is optimistic and is to live your life in a self-determined way.
Are you living in the GAP or the GAIN?
Meet Sarah, an architect who sets her standards based on the glossy architectural magazines and the jaw-dropping designs showcased on social media. Despite completing several successful projects, Sarah feels perpetually unsatisfied. She compares her work to the flawless structures she sees online, always feeling like she falls short. This constant comparison leaves her feeling inadequate and demotivated, overshadowing any sense of accomplishment she might have. Sarah lives in the GAP.
On the other hand, there's Alex, an architect who, instead of measuring herself against the unattainable standards of others, Alex focuses on her own progress. She looks back at her early designs and sees how far she's come since then. Even the smallest improvements, like mastering a new design software or receiving positive feedback from clients, fill her with pride. By celebrating her achievements and recognising her growth over time, Alex remains motivated and fulfilled in her career, always striving to improve without losing sight of her accomplishments. Alex lives in the GAIN.
Not only am I revisiting how I set and measure goals, but I'm now guilty of spouting this mantra to my twelve-year-old; it's sticking and working. A thoroughly good read, it might just make the difference to your happiness and success this year.
Eight Steps to Goal Setting Success:
Unfortunately. I didn’t have time to add the GAP and GAIN insights to the highly attended Goal Setting Workshop! that kickstarted the WIA Mentoring Programme 2024! I took 90 participants through the Eight Steps to Goal Setting Success, helping them brainstorm goals for the next six months.
Read more on the Eight Steps to Goal Setting Succss on the WIA website.
It may be February, but there is always time to set goals for the year - and measure them in the GAIN!
You can download the Goal Setting Workbook with 20% off HERE.
This is especially worthwhile if you have a mentee who needs help with what goals to set or how to set themselves up for success.
(31 page PDF download containing 8 steps, 11 exercises and 7 templates.)
PLUS: A Fab Feb Discount!
In "The Gap or The Gain," Dan Hardy emphasises the importance of regularly assessing progress, acknowledging achievements, and reflecting on gains. Journaling is a valuable tool to ensure these gains are not overlooked or forgotten.
“Your level of capability in the future depends on your measurement of achievements in the past. You can’t move forward and grow until you’ve acknowledged how far you’ve come and have properly measured your GAINS.”
The ideal place to record your accomplishments, goals, thinking and experiences is the Architect's Leadership Journal! A weekly, structured journal designed to support your self-development and build a habit of reflection and intention setting - great for mentees and mentors alike!
